You cry yourself to sleep at night just wishing it would stop. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but no, everyday is the same. You try not to let it get to you but everyday is relentless. All you want is to be left alone – is that too much to ask? You feel weak, small, diminished, defeated, damaged, scared and intimidated. Why has your safe place become somewhere you go to get yelled at, sworn at, pushed and shoved when it supposed to be place of security and learning?
Because you have something they want, so they need to take it away from you. Make you lose your love for it so they feel better about themselves. Then what makes it even worse, is that the people who say that they love you and will look out for you, just stand back and watch. So if they and no one else are doing anything to help you then you must really deserve what they’re doing to you and you just have put up with it from now on, right? What’s their goal? To make you hate yourself? Well congratulations – it worked.
Then the impulse decisions come in. You cut and dye your hair, get piercings, change your style. All to try and become someone else. Because if you change everything about yourself they’ll stop right? Wrong again, they don’t stop, they don’t change. Maybe the only way to be free of them is to go somewhere where no one can ever find you again, because then they’ll be happy and you’ll be at peace. That will make everything better… right?
Have you or a loved one experienced something similar? Always ask for help. See your school counsellor, a parent or a trusted friend. Or take note of these numbers – Kids Help Line 1800 551 800 and Beyond Blue 1300 224 636.
